This has been an insane week. After getting sick on Monday, the antibiotics they gave me made my anxiety worse. Evidently one of the side effects of the medication is increased anxiety and depression. Why am ER doctor that has my medical history and can see I’m on anti-anxiety drugs put me on a medication with those side effects is beyond me.
Wednesday I hit rock bottom. I couldn’t think of anyone that knew how I truly felt, and I felt 100% alone. Even though I had my support system in place, I couldn’t feel it.
Yesterday was better. I realized that the meds were causing my anxiety so I tried to stay on top of it. By last night I felt good and level headed.
I have therapy today, and am looking forward to it because of the week I’ve had. I’ve been in contact with her all week via email, and today might be the day where I break down with everything.
I’ve cried so much this week that I became numb at one point. I couldn’t see a reason to do anything. I wanted to be left alone. Not touched. I lost joy in the things I enjoy doing. I felt like this:
Today I will make progress on my work.
Today will be a good day.
Today I will focus on this: