I’m done

I know as I’m writing this it’s coming from a place of anger and hurt. So why am I writing it? Because I need to vent. 

As mentioned in a post earlier today, I didn’t take a night time med last night.  I’m down to 2 pills and I don’t see my PCP until Tuesday.  That being said, I’m not at the top of my game. 

I freaked out about being late for an event earlier. This led to my husband lecturing me on the 10 minute drive to drop him at work, because he refused to Uber.  

I was told that he’s tired of hearing about my anxiety, my stress, etc… he told me that I have to learn to cope without involving him.  He has his own stress and doesn’t need mine with his. He can understand if I’m upset about work but if it’s something about the chance of being late, that he’s done with it. And that he’s seen no progress only more anxiety. 

Needless to say I’m hurt and ready to be done. I don’t know what to do. My gut says fine, I’ll go back to suppressing everything leave it inside. Quit therapy, stop the meds all together.  I’ll go back to being unhappy but supportive of my husband’s own mental illness because mine doesn’t matter. 

Anxiety is awful. If you don’t have it, you don’t understand.  I’m alone in this. I truly understand that now.  

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